Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Deep sigh.

I haven't posted in forever.  There just hasn't really been anything to say.  We just continue to wait wait WAIT.  It's exhausting and heartbreaking. We found out about our match almost five months ago. FIVE MONTHS.  And we know still almost nothing.  We started this process two years ago. TWO YEARS. And we still have know idea when we will be finished.

We have eight pictures.  I waver between not being able to tear my eyes away from them, studying every inch in hopes to learn something about her, to times when I can't look at them at all because she's still such a stranger to me and it tears me up.

We know her age, roughly.  Not a birthday, but we do know that she hasn't turned 7 yet because that would cause all sorts of issues for us since we are approved for a 3 to 6 year old.  And Lord knows we do NOT need any more delays right now.  Or ever again.

We know that we haven't even had a chance to accept the match yet and we know that it will probably be another 8 months once we DO accept it before we can go to get her.  8 MONTHS.  And the clock hasn't even started.

In February, we hoped she would be home at the beginning of this school year.  I desperately wanted to start talking with the school about how to get ready for her.  I was waiting on her birthday to talk to them.  I'm still waiting for that birthday.

By late spring we were hoping she'd be here by Christmas.  Anthony and I talked about how we would structure it to keep her from feeling overwhelmed.  A problem we still wish we had.

Now we are talking about March or April AT THE EARLIEST.

I guess maybe I could just ask you to pray for us.  I mean, pray that there won't be any more delays and that somehow this starts moving smoothly along too, but really we just need prayers for our hearts.  We are tired, stressed, sad, even feeling a little hopeless.  So, yeah, we'll take some prayers.

Here's hoping for a post titled FINALLY soon.


Six In The Sticks said...

Fellow Burundi adoption Mama here (not matched yet, dossier in Burundi for 13 months). Anyway, I stumbled across your blog while I was searching "international adoption blogs" because that's what you do when you don't know what else to do with yourself while you wait (and wait and wait), especially when folding laundry or cleaning bathrooms doesn't sound like fun. ;) Anyway, I think I know who you are from the Burundi Adoption Group on FB but thought I'd pop on your comments section and let you know that today I'm praying specifically for your family. I know my wait right now for a match is hard but I can't even begin to imagine how hard it will be to wait for a child whose picture I have and name I know. Ohmyheart, I'm praying for you, Mama. Maybe you have more answers now since writing this post (I sure hope so!!!) but where ever you are in the wait today, know that you're being prayed for! HUGS!!


Leslee Dummermuth said...

I think we connected a little of FB. Thanks for reaching out. I thought about you as we learned about the referral coming through yesterday. Your prayers mean so much. Know that we are praying for you all too.