The thing is that I was never one to wait until I delivered to find out the gender of my babies. Why? Because knowing who they are, their name, their gender, helped me feel connected to the little one rolling around inside me. It wasn't "the baby" any longer, it was Adele or Matthias…and I loved THEM, not just the IDEA of them.
I know Lydia's gender. And I even know her first name (though not her middle name). But I don't know how old she is or how big. There is just so little we can still do to physically prepare for her until we know those things. I want to buy her a little outfit that she will be the first to wear. I want to buy her a toy that will be right for her age. I want to get ready for HER not the IDEA of her.
But we didn't receive a referral this time. Not many people did. And all we can really do right now is hope and pray that the committee meets again next month and that there is a file of a little lady there that they believe will fit in our family.
More waiting. [Deep sigh.]