Thursday, October 24, 2013

Five Years.

Five years ago today Nathan was put into my arms.  Five years...that's amazing.

As has become our tradition, Nate and I celebrated today as our anniversary and went on a little date together.  He picked Five Guys, which I'm hardly going to argue with.  Nothing like an excuse to eat a nice greasy burger...

And as if eating such scrumptious food wasn't enough, our anniversary turned into "the coolest ever", when directly behind Nathan, one of the employees was tackled to the ground by some police officers, handcuffed, and arrested.  So nuts and kinda scary, but a great story for a 5 year old boy to tell for sure.

Happy anniversary little man.  Every year God gives us together is better than the last.  I love you.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Children in Families First

So, a few weeks ago I wrote a post on orphan care, in which I talked about how our focus should be on supporting families, so that less children are institutionalized throughout the world.  And while, I'm not one to ever get political on my blogs, this week I did want to take a minute to highlight a piece of legislation that was put before, I believe, both the House and Senate a month ago (you know, back when they "functioned") that is worth learning about.  It is called Children in Families First Act of 2013 (CHIFF) and you can click the image below to check out its website and learn about its specifics...

In short, from what I understand, its goal is to make sure that US international support and funds are used to support families first, rather than institutions, to help with the orphan crisis throughout the world.  It also aims to create a better system for international adoptions on the US (immigration) side.

I probably just butchered that, so look it up.

Today, I took the time to actually email my senators and representative, none of whom are on the list of bill supporters, something I have never done before.  Because no matter how we feel about politics, the reality is that legislation is needed to get things done sometimes and this seems to be a really worthwhile piece.  Plus, I figured they had nothing else to do these days than read my emails!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Dark Matter of Love.

I came across this documentary.  I'm not sure when the entire movie will be available, but these clips have been rocking my soul.  I'm including the trailer and 3 additional clips...all worth watching.

Look, I'm a big believer in not viewing ourselves (adoptive parents) as heroes.  We are their moms and dads, not their saviors.  ONLY GOD SAVES. But God does allow us to be a part of his work if we are willing.  And there are children in situations that they need to be pulled out of.  There are children throughout the world (and here in the US) that need to be in families and loved and cared for in those ways that only a parent can.

We were not created to be in institutions...

And each moment that children spend in an institution is affecting them greatly.  The way their brains are forming.  Their understanding of love and comfort and all aspects of relationships.  And each moment that they spend in an institution is something they will have to heal from later. Something that will be incredibly difficult to heal from outside of a loving family.

And if this knowledge doesn't rock us sometimes...if it doesn't trouble our souls and make us wonder what we can do...if it doesn't force us to do something, anything to help these children get OUT of institutions (not just improve the institutions)...then I think we need to check our hearts a little bit.

These are children.  Amazing children.  My girl is one of these kids and all I have been able to do lately is listen to my heart cry out...God, where is my girl? Not another moment do I want her to spend institutionalized.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

"I'm from Denver."

So the other day I was enjoying a little Modern Family while walking on the treadmill.  And this clip played that made me laugh and kinda cringe at the same time...

Am I this adoptive parent?  Sometimes I feel like I am.

I have to admit that whenever I see someone that is black, I'm drawn to them.  There is a part of me that is just dying to talk to them...that is wanting to let them know that I'm closer to being black than I look, because, you see, my son is black.  And I'm certain they want to know this, while at the same time I'm certain they don't really care.  And if they clearly have an accent, oh dear God, I can hardly resist saying something, anything, to get into a conversation with them.

I feel connected to them.  Or desperate to connect to them.  And I know that I want their approval, their acceptance...

Having a child of another race and culture is confusing sometimes.  You feel so intimately connected to something that on the outside you seem to have no connection to.  You press into their heritage for them and also for yourself.  It helps you feel as though you are doing your part to ensure that they are not experiencing another loss in their life.  And this is the right and good thing to do.  But it can also be really confusing.

[I'm certain it is going to be confusing for him too and maybe as he gets older I'll learn more about that from him, but for today, I can only speak to my own experience.]

And I'm trying to stay connected.  And I feel so connected.  And sometimes I don't feel connected at all, which I hate.  And I don't always know how to do this.  And I feel so stupid sometimes.  I feel like Cam, trying so hard to convince others and myself that what we did, removing a child from the culture they were born into, was okay because we are staying connected.  And I feel like Mitchell, watching my Cam-half make a fool out of myself and feeling embarrassed and as though my efforts are actually working against my intentions.

I guess that all I can really do is give myself grace when I look like Cam and trust that my attempts to honor and connect to this part of who Nathan is, is at its core a good thing.  Because it is and I love him and I'm trying and at the very least, that's a good start.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Girl, Adopted.

I had a couple of people bring up this video up on Facebook and this morning, Anthony and I were able to sit down and watch it together.

It was good.  Really good.  There is just so much to think about...

The video is about and 1hr. 20mins and is only available to watch until the 29th of this month.  Take the time to watch it.