Friday, January 18, 2013

Sigh.

My friend Kiki posted this on Facebook.  Oh how those hills call to me...


AFRICA from MAMMOTH on Vimeo.

Friday, January 4, 2013

A New Year.

A year ago today I found out I was pregnant.  I was watching my nephew that day and he and I took a quick trip to Walmart to buy a pregnancy test.  It was a bit early for me to test, but I'm not exactly one for waiting, so as soon as I could that afternoon, I took one of the tests.

Pregnant.

When Anthony got home later that day, he was sitting at the table eating and I just walked in and put the test down in front of him.  At first he just thought I was showing him that I bought one, but then he looked again, laughed and said, "Of course you are."

I don't know much about the heartache of trying to get pregnant and not being able to.  We hadn't even talked about having another baby less than a month before I took that test...it happens easily for us and I know that we are immensely blessed by that.  But I do know what it is like to desperately want to add to our family and watch the weeks and months and years go by without being able to.  Sure, having Matthias has been a glorious distraction in some ways to our desire to adopt again, but it has hardly quench it for us.

Rwanda closed nearly two and a half years ago and we aren't sure whether that will ever change.  All we know is that we have a daughter out there that we desperately want to find...maybe in Rwanda, maybe not.  Our hope is that this year will be there year when we get some answers to our questions.  Our hope is that this spring we will start the process of bringing our girl home from wherever she is.  Our hope is that this next Christmas will be the last one without her here.

It's a new year.