Monday, December 6, 2010

In my opinion...

So, this is one of those post where I almost feel as though I need to put some disclaimer at the beginning because I know some of you will very much feel different than me about this, but...it is my blog. = )

There is this trend in international adoptions that really bothers me. I've heard it from a number of people and I just don't get it. You see, many people have chosen to not tell the story of how their child became an orphan. Their reasons usually go something like this..."It's their story and when they are old enough we will share it with them and then they can decide if they want to share it."

So, here is how I am going to challenge that idea. All of my girls know their birth stories, we tell them all the time. It's our family's story and we love the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. Many other people know the girls' stories too, why not, right? So, then what if we didn't share Nate's? What if we had decided that he should be the first to know it and so it was kept secret? Here are the two issues I see with that...

One, we are separating him from our other children...his story is TOO different, that's what we would be saying. His can't just be a part of our families' history, like the girls.

Two, there is a reason his is not shared...and maybe he shouldn't share it, he needs to decide that. In other words, we are saying to him that it might actually be something too shameful to share.

That is NOT the case. Nate's story is just as amazing as our girls'. It's not something he should ever be ashamed of or feel the need to hide. It speaks of God's amazing hand in his life and that is not something to keep hidden. I want him to own who he is and where he came from, just like our girls. And I truly believe the first step of that is to make his story just as part of the conversation.

I know we have told bits of Nate's story on here before, but in light of this post I thought I would share with you some of the exact wording from his police report...oh, and his picture from the report (which is, of course, adorable)...

CONFIRMATION OF THE DISCOVERY OF AN ABANDONED BABY

On Monday the 26th day of November 2007, in GACURABWE cell, BYUMBA Sector, GICUMBI District, a baby born on the same day was discovered naked and abandoned near a pit latrine...

The baby was immediately taken to Byumba Hospital and until today, nobody has ever come to claim it, it is in this regard that we eventually decided to hand over the baby to the orphanage.



This is my son, and this is how his story starts. God allowed it to start this way for a reason, and I love it because it is part of who he is...and he is one awesome little man.