Friday, July 25, 2008

24 hours.

It's amazing how things can change in just 24 hours. Today I received some really encouraging emails. Sounds like I won't be calling next week after all because Chantal will be finding out the actual decision for us at the end of the week! I was shaking when I read her email...so ready, so hopeful.

Chantal also told me that the other family she has been helping got their travel documents and will be leaving with their children on Tuesday. So, that means that we know of 4 children's adoptions being completed this next week. Crazy!

Things are looking up. Keep praying.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Another week...

Today hurts...some days just really hurt and today I am really struggling...

I'm sure you can guess that a decision hasn't been made yet. I guess that they had a really busy week this week and are saying that a decision will be made next week...I can't even begin to explain to you how hard it is to have someone else deciding whether or not you can have a child. Not to mention a child that is already so completely knit into our hearts and life. It's just heartbreaking hard.

The little bit of what I'm choosing to be good news is that it looks like I will be the one calling next week. Even though I'm sure that that is going to be such a hard call to make, I'm hoping that since I am the prospective parent they will just be able to tell me then what their decision is, so that we can begin planning or, frankly, grieving.

We are just so ready to move forward. There is a verse in the Psalms that says "hope deferred makes the heart sick" and each week my heart has just felt sicker. I'm so ready to know. I'm ready for this boy that I named 5 years ago when we found out that we were pregnant with Adele. This son that I began fervently praying for months before even that when my heart ached to be pregnant and the months kept coming and going. It was always a son that I have longed for and although I truly, deeply adore my girls and thank God for the blessings that they are continually in my life, I have always been so aware that our sweet little Nathan has not been able to join us yet. And my heart just aches.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Some good news...

Okay, so it isn't exactly our news, but it is good news none the less.

So, I can't remember if I mentioned them or not in previous posts, but there was a couple that we met while in Rwanda that is from Wichita and was there to pick up a little girl that they had adopted. We saw them a number of times while we were there...at a restaurant, the US Embassy, and at the orphanage where their daughter has been living. In fact, we even met their sweet girl. Well, long story short, there was some issue with the police reports regarding their daughter's abandonment and after seven weeks of waiting for the okay to take her home, they finally had to leave without her.

Well, so we had seen them at the end of April and just today they finally got word that everything is a go and on Saturday Jeff (the dad) is going to go get her! Praise God! I just can't imagine how they have been feeling all these weeks...I don't want to know either. We are just so thrilled for them.

Okay, so how this does affect us is that this is the first adoption that we have heard of that has actually made it through since the new Minister took office this past spring. This, of course, has given us a renewed sense of hope after twelve long weeks of waiting.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Not yet.

We got an email this morning from Kiki saying that there hasn't been a response to our case yet. She was told to call back next Thursday...

It's the news we expected, but certainly not the news we hoped for. Keep praying for us.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Another update.

Okay, so finally a little news...

On Thursday we got an email from my friend Kiki. She had a chance to go to the Minister's office and hunted someone down who was actually able to give us a little information. Basically what it boiled down to was that our paperwork is currently being reviewed and that this coming Friday Kiki is to call the office to find out if our letter stating either our approval or rejection has been sent out. She won't be able to find out what the letter says, but she'll know if it is in the mail. Snail mail that is, so who knows how long that will take to get to us. But the good news is that they are looking at us right now and hopefully we will hear in the next few weeks!

So please pray pray pray. It's so hard knowing that someone is scrutinizing your life and deciding whether or not you can have another child. It makes you think about all the things that are strikes against you...like, are they going to think we are crazy for wanting to adopt when we have a 4, 3, and 1 year old? There is a part of me that wishes that I could sit across the table from the people making this decision and share my heart with them...let them meet my kids and show them the love we have in our little family. But you know what? I believe that God is bigger than all this and either way, He'll lead our family where He thinks is best and I'm good with that.

Well, hopefully I'll have something to post this weekend! Thanks for your prayers!